This week, I ate better and I felt better. Oh, it wasn’t perfect by any means… But… it was better.
Progress, not perfection.
And I got out walking a bit.
I even walked on a day I wouldn’t normally walk. Cloudy skies, rain approaching… yet, there I was. Walking. I got rained on, but I was active.
I think that as long as I keep making strides towards being active and keep trying to make healthier choices I will be ok in this health journey. Every little step forward is progress.
One of the biggest things for me is battling what goes on in my mind. This week, I found myself struggling in that area again. I found myself thinking I wasn’t good enough and looking in the mirror while insulting everything reflected back at me.
Getting control of what goes on in your mind is one of the most difficult things to do. I wish I could say I had conquered it, but I haven’t.
On more than one occasion this week, I told myself that I was ugly, fat, a loser, not worth living, useless, and quite a few other nasty things.
And now, looking back at that, I want to scream in my own face that I am not ugly, I may be big but I’m not fat, I’m not a loser, I am worth so much more than I will ever know, I am here with purpose, and I was never useless and never will be.
But I am realistic and I know that those negative voices will scream louder.
This battle is something I will be fighting forever, I’m sure.
Do you struggle in this way? There are days when I feel like I am totally alone in this. Days that I wish I had someone to talk to about it. I don’t mean a cheerleader who will tell me I am fabulous, I mean someone who will genuinely listen to me and understand exactly what I’m feeling. Someone who will say they get it and they are here to cry it out with me.
Someone who genuinely listens and understands is a gift I hope to receive someday.