It’s always interesting when you go out shopping with kids, but I think the interesting factor is a bit different when you have a child with Autism. And then there is another added interesting factor – when the Husband comes along. You see, in our family I generally just go out shopping with the kids on my own – well, except for the trips to Costco – those tend to be all of us together. Anyways, generally I go out with the kids during the week and I have worked out my system for coping with everything that going out involves and I have also gotten to the point where nothing really bothers me anymore because I just know what to expect. Ok, I can’t say nothing because I do have emotional moments where I want to scream, “Take a flippin’ picture, it’ll last longer!” But compared to my Husband I am pretty calm in stores.
So today we decided to go out to Reno to one of the malls. The kids needed some new clothes for winter – just a few more things as Bug is growing at an exponential rate right now and his pants have all become too short. So we hit the Osh Kosh store which I LOVE! Seriously, let me give you a side note here… Osh Kosh has cute clothes and good prices. I got 5 pairs of pants and 7 shirts for $104 – and that was after tax and all. That, my friends, is something you can’t even do at Walmart! I love Osh Kosh! Ok, sorry, now back to my point… The kids needed clothes so we went out shopping. Once we had gotten that purchase out of the way we started looking around at other stuff.
Shopping is a sensory overload for Bug. You moms who know Autism know what I mean. Lights, sounds, smells, lights, lights, lights… Yes, it is overload and for Bug there is this thing he does that drives me nuts, but drives my Hubby even nuttier. I have learned to either ignore it or say something that is more for the salesperson to know that I am not a bad mom than for Bug to hear… You see, what he does is he taps things. He will go from row to row and just take his finger and tap stuff. He is not being bad, he is not misbehaving, he just has this sensory craving and he has to tap. It isn’t a hard tap, he doesn’t want to hurt or break anything, he just goes row by row and taps. I see salespeople looking. I see other customers looking. I see what people see – a kid touching everything – but I know it isn’t like that. So my coping mechanism is to say to him, “Bug, don’t touch anything.” There, now they have all heard me and now they all know I am not a bad mom. Of course he keeps touching stuff, but for me I just move on and look at what I want to look at – but for my Husband. Oh good gravy! It is a whole different struggle. He bubbles and boils – I can see it rising in him. He tries to deal but he can only handle so much before he just explodes, “Keep your damn hands off that!” Now, some of you may think that is horrible, but I say it is not. He does his best. We all just deal in our own ways. I make it clear to bystanders that I do know how to discipline, and my Hubby makes it clear that he has only a certain level of tolerance. Bug however, well, Bug continues to tap because there is this need inside of him to calm that sensory overload and tapping is what does it.
People look.
He sings and twirls.
People look.
He flicks his hands about.
People look.
He taps and taps some more… in a row, every row.
People look.
I smile. I’ve already announced to him not to touch. I know he isn’t doing it on purpose to be bad. I smile more.
People look.
I can’t take it anymore… I announce we are leaving.
I wish people would stop looking.
Bean… she doesn’t touch. She is Bean. She laughs at Bug because she is his sister and she knows how he is. She smiles at me because she knows it’s stressful. She smiles at my Hubby because she knows it is stressful. And then she laughs more.
Bug is in his own world.
People look.
People irritate me!
This entry was posted on Sunday, November 8th, 2009 at 9:03 pm and is filed under Autism, Family Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Julie November 9th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Ha! The anti-spam word is Be Nice. I don’t feel like being nice. People annoy me too. For the past day I can’t help thinking about a bumper sticker I saw saying that Autism isn’t the tragedy ignorance is. (Okay, I know that sometimes it really sucks…but mostly I think that other people be to BE NICE!!!!)
((HUGS))
Oh, I know what you mean about it being stressful to go out as a family. Daniel and I have our way of doing things and somehow it’s even more stressful when Steve comes along too. I think his stress level is so high that the rest of us can just feel it and he won’t even talk to me or discuss anything in case someone else will hear, so everyone’s stress level rises and we don’t work as a team and IT SUCKS! (venting because you gave me permission yesterday! lol1)